When I found my self!

When I finished secondary school in June 1995, I applied for a number of jobs, having had no academic plans or aspirations. I failed the initial interview in my application to join the Royal Air Force of Oman (as an Officer-trainee). I did not “score among the best applicants” in the physical fitness examination of the Royal Army of Oman (as an Officer-trainee). I also failed the meter-alignment test in my application to join Gulf Air as a pilot. I did very well on the tests of a surveillance-tower job for Oman Air and was called for the final interview, which I did not go to; I was in my second week of classes at SQU (Language Centre/ CPS intensive English program) when they contacted me.
 A couple of weeks into the first semester, I went to the Deanship of Admissions and Registration, in an attempt to transfer to the College of Engineering. One top administrator (very many thanks to her, now) said that I could not transfer from English education to engineering before spending a full academic year in English education. I left feeling it was unfair. After a year in English education, I started to like it.
 ​In my sixth semester, my education professor, Dr. Abdelkader Ezzaki, asked me, with interest, about my GPA, and asked me to “work on it”. In my final year, I could not accept anything less than Demonstrator at SQU. I was interviewed for two Demonstrator jobs, and lost both, the first “because I deserved a better job (i.e. one with a Ph.D. scholarship)”, according to the Director of the Language Centre, Dr. Nafla Al-Kharusi, and the second “for administrative reasons (lack of a financial grade)”.
 I left SQU and applied for the job of ‘teacher of English’ (‘second lieutenant’ rank) at Royal Oman Police (ROP). I then applied for the job of ‘translator’ at the Diwan of Royal Court (DRC). I went to the interview of the Diwan job and did very well; I think I impressed all four interviewers. I also applied for the job of ‘teacher of English’ at Muscat Technical College (now UTAS). I went to their interview, but I did not do well, feeling resentful about the missed SQU Demonstrator opportunities. I also went to the Ministry of Education interview for the ‘English school teacher’ job. After taking a look at my transcript and letters of recommendation, the interviewer asked whether I would really take the job if I was offered one. Full of confidence, I said, “of course, unless I find a better job”. I also applied for the job of ‘translator’ at Petroleum Development Oman, and sat a very difficult translation test, which, I am confident, I did not pass.
 After that, I received a call from the DRC to say that I was offered the Royal job. A couple of weeks into the Royal job, I was called by ROP to go to the interview. I felt that the Royal job was better, so I did not go to the ROP interview.
 Eight weeks into the Royal job, I received a call from the SQU Personnel Department, to tell me that the financial grade for the Demonstrator at SQU post was available. I sought my father’s advice on whether to stay at the DRC or take the SQU job; his reply was, “choose what you want”. I went to SQU and met with a top administrator to express my interest in the SQU job. Two days later, I called to know that they were going to send an official letter to the DRC. A couple of weeks later, my boss asked whether I was still interested in the DRC job, or prefer the SQU offer. At 8:00 a.m. on January 1st, 2000 (when North America was celebrating the new millennium), I resigned from the Royal job, believing that serving His Majesty was service to the people of Oman and so was teaching at SQU.
 After five months as a Demonstrator at the SQU Language Centre/CPS, I started applying for M.A. in linguistics in the US. I applied to 11 universities, including some of the best American schools: University of Maryland, College Park, University of Pennsylvania, University of Washington at Seattle, University of Texas at Austin, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, University of California at Berkeley, University of California at Davis, Cornell University, Georgetown University, Indiana University, and University of Florida, and was accepted by the last two, and decided to choose the latter, hoping to pursue my studies and interests in Second Language Acquisition (applied linguistics).
​ In the class of a brilliant syntactician and inspiring instructor, Prof. Eric Potsdam (University of Florida), I liked syntax (theoretical linguistics); meeting Eric was a life-changing experience for me! In 2003, and with an M.A. in linguistics, I applied to transfer to the Department of English Language and Literature (currently Department of English and Translation) at the College of Arts and Social Sciences, and with the unconditional and unlimited support of Dr. Nafla Al-Kharusi (as well as other God-arranged circumstances), I managed to move to the English Department, though my first degree was in education, not English literature.
​ In 2006, I started a Ph.D. in linguistics at the University of Toronto, Canada’s most prestigious university; holding a Ph.D. from UofT is a life-long honor! In the company of brilliant syntacticians, Prof. Elizabeth Cowper (my favorite supervisor; when she was supervising my three Ph.D. research projects, she had three offices at the UofT campus; it’s hard to remember my ‘learner’ life at UofT without remembering her vast knowledge of linguistics (having witnessed all the developments in linguistic theory), insight, and fine judgment, as well as her wit; she also introduced me to the notion that it takes great hearts to create great minds’), Prof. Diane Massam (the Case Theory guru who introduced me to the notion that “common sense is usually wrong” and thus challengeable, as well as to the immensely rewarding feeling of discovering new knowledge; it is a great privilege to be her student), and Prof. Alana Johns (who introduced me to the notion that insight could come from anywhere; when I told her about some of the insights of the Basran and Kufan grammarians, she said “we can learn a lot from other schools of thought”), I loved syntax, and decided to pursue it for my Ph.D. studies, and chose Standard Arabic to be my language area of research.
    I wish I could go back and do another Ph.D. under their supervision!
 ​After embarking on my dissertation project, the structural Case system of Standard Arabic, I felt that I finally found my self (the self that kept roaming over a heterogeneous set of job opportunities and study interests, from the military to aviation to engineering to education to translation to applied linguistics), I found my wandering self in the field of Arabic syntax.
 ​It may come as a surprise that I landed a theoretical discipline in academia, after my initial professional interests. In fact, much of the credit goes back to the Canadian experience; the University of Toronto provided the necessary high-standard company and the challenge for my potentials, as well as the unparalleled academic atmosphere and the invaluable research experience that developed my critical thinking abilities and problem solving skills. It is there where I met Prof. Elan Dresher (the Mozart of linguistics, who introduced me to the notion that any theory may be critiqued, or even proved inadequate, no matter whose it is or how convincing or appealing it may seem), and Dr. Peter Hallman, a linguist like no other. Meeting Peter is one of the most beautiful things that ever happened to me; he introduced me to the Basran and Kufan linguistic traditions as well as to the beauty of academia, which is the production of wisdom! Credit also goes back to Prof. Eric Potsdam, who introduced me to syntax and also to learning-by-doing (a teaching method that creates passionate learners, not just successful students), as well as to Dr. Nafla Al-Kharusi who believed in me, and also introduced me to the notion that the more challenging the university one studies at, the richer and more fruitful their research experience will be!
​  From these people I also learnt that a human being’s value, measured by their contribution to humanity, is determined by the quality of their intellectual production, by how far from ordinary methods and goals they go, by how earnestly they are seeking novelty and uniqueness, and by how noble their plans are (i.e. ultimately seeking to make the world a better place to live in). With this influential company and positive attitude to academia, I thought I found my self, the interest that could actualize my potentials.
 ​But that wasn’t the case, after all!
 ​Apparently, the impact of this company was so great as to enable me to discover another self!
 ​It turned out that there was another self that I had to explore, and which took shape during my sabbatical leave at the University of Vienna (2018-2019), Austria’s second most prestigious university. It all started with questions about certain Qur’anic verses: why they included these specific words, and not those other words. This eventually led to an interest in the interpretation of Qur’anic verses, resulting in insightful understandings demonstrated using the offerings of modern linguistics, a research endeavor described by one shrewd linguist that I owe much, Prof. Jean Lowenstamm (Université Paris Cité) as follows:
 “This is pioneering work. Please, pursue it by all means! It is important!”
 ​I should also give due credit to Dr. Linda Thayer, an American linguist who appeared much later in my academic life but significantly influenced my interpretation of Qur’anic verses, as well as to the people of the Dandarah Cultural Center (Vienna), in whose company the idea of my first paper in religious text interpretation was born.
 ​I am not sure, though, whether this is the ultimate self to discover, the one that will witness my last breath. Nonetheless, this last interest calls to my memory a Hadeeth [saying] by Prophet Muḥammad (peace be upon him): “When Allah wishes good for someone, He bestows upon him the understanding of the Religion [Islam]”.
 ​One lesson from this journey, for our students, is that we don’t know the ultimate self to be content with (if at all one can!), and we don’t know the exact level of our abilities, or capabilities, and we don’t always know what we are really passionate about, since our passions keep changing. This means that we have to browse all the offered possibilities and explore all the available opportunities (both studies and professions), and perhaps even try to create our own opportunities, which is the ultimate goal of the knowledge-based age and economy. In fact, each one of us may have passions for more than one area, and so is capable of being productive in more than one discipline. Most of the famous Arab and Muslim scholars were competent in diverse disciplines, including philosophy, poetry, medicine, astronomy, physics, math, linguistics, chemistry, and logic. Were they created more intelligent than us, or with more passions than those we are created with? It would’ve been unfair; but The Creator is The Just! The main difference is that they were not content with their initial passions, or rather selfs, and so kept exploring new passions and selfs, asking questions about any phenomenon they observed and seeking answers to them, while the majority of us are looking for the self that can get us a living!
 ​Another lesson for those who feel pessimistic about the job market is: The question is not whether there are opportunities; the question is ‘are you good enough, knowledge- and skill-wise, for the available as well as the upcoming opportunities?’ This means that you should use the university experience to develop your intellectual (and other) skills. Being a university student is not about taking courses, attending classes, and passing tests as much as it is about finding your self (or rather selfs); it is about learning about your own self (i.e. your passions and capabilities) more than it is about learning about other people and things. Knowledge may largely be acquired through self-study, now that almost everything is available online, but learning about your self requires living the university adventure to its fullest. The university experience is about finding how you can contribute to humanity, how you can mark your presence on this planet, how you can be a role-model for the coming generations, and how you can help the less fortunate communities and individuals to live a better life. The certificate is the least you can graduate with; the university experience is designed to turn you into a researcher, a passionate life-long learner, but this experience will not mature if you are just after a certificate.
​ A third lesson for the new generations is that, though I was not really an intelligent human being, I had the wisdom to have a plan, to trust my instincts, to realize the value of time, to keep my mind, heart, and eyes open for learning opportunities, and had the courage to take responsibility for whatever Allah inspired me with, by doing what it takes to accomplish something from those experiences, and learn something new even from a negative experience, as well as the determination to do what it takes to achieve my goals and ambitions. Another aspect of my character is the willingness to travel new paths, to climb new mountains, to try to do what the others haven’t tried, and to achieve what they haven’t attempted. One factor that contributed to this ‘willing’ character is the company of genuinely kind, generous and creative intellectuals I was surrounded with in my ‘learner’ journey, ones who don’t like to tell old stories! They are real sources of inspiration, which is why I have no choice but to try to be one for my students.
 ​As I am approaching the end of my career, I have come to realize that life is too beautiful to live it only once, too precious to live it for material acquisition, too special an experience to live it imitating others, and too valuable to waste my time over trifles, and so figured out that I should try to leave a legacy that could make me live another life, through the lives of my students and those I influence. It’s just very painful to leave unnoticed, after having put so much energy in inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon-dioxide!
 The good news is that ‘living another life’ isn’t about ‘when’ you start, nor is it about ‘how fast’ you go or what ‘certificates/degrees’ you have, but rather about how well your eyes, mind, and heart are seeking to see questions and how willing you are to pursue answers to them. You could start late, and go slowly, but stumble upon an observation that millions have passed by without even noticing, and without caring to ask the right question(s) about, or even bothering to find an answer to. I started late, and I am going slowly, but still hope to make it!
 So it’s never too late to start. So, start now!
 ​There is still room for you among those that the world will remember forever, but you have to make that room for yourself, by your self; but remember, the world does not remember the wealthy (unless they spend their money on good causes, and why would people bother to make money if they are going to spend it on others?!), but rather remembers the intellectually-driven. Almost all the questions are still open, and the race is still on, but are you ready for a contest? That’s the question!
 The beauty of life is in doing it differently, in living it our own way, in trying new things, going new places, meeting new people, facing new challenges, majoring in new specializations, it is in surprising humanity with something special, something unique, something that can influence the lives of others and make them realize the value of life, not in living life according to someone else’s way! Allah did not create us to be copies of others, but rather to be unique. We may start our lives following in the footsteps of great people, but we must realize that we are equipped with the potentials to become greater, if we started exploring our own selfs, the immense universe inside our minds and hearts. It is for this reason that I always try my best that my students have ‘a plan’, not ‘the plan’, and be willing to sacrifice to make it a reality, hoping, from the bottom of my heart, that their selfs will emerge stronger, soar higher, travel more independently, shine brighter, and live longer than my own.
 ​Now, in my late 40s, I think there could still be another self to explore, another exciting adventure to embark on, or probably a hundred or more of them, if not in my own scholarly life, then in those of my many smart and inspiring students, the people who will carry the torch, who will adopt my method and improve on it, the people I leave every semester with a good piece of Rashid, one that believes in them and their potentials, one that seeks to produce the best versions of them, one that makes them never stop believing in themselves, one that helps them learn more about themselves, one that cares for them and their future, one that wishes them better than that I have accomplished myself, one that celebrates their achievements and seeks to be proud of them, one that will be there for them whenever they decide to start the next step in their academic lives, and one that, inshaaAllaah, will live with them, and through them, with their students and children, long after Rashid has gone.
 That piece is my mission in life, which is touching souls, influencing lives, nurturing minds, discovering talent, and fostering ambition, as well as preparing for a unique, value-based and knowledge-based society, life-long learning individuals, the mission that I want to be remembered for, a mission inspired by my belief in Oman and my love for its people, mountains, deserts, wadis, seas, forts, palm trees, falajs, etc., as well as by my belief in the potentials of my students, the inheritors of the Omani Empire, and the future of this nation.

To my students: thank you guys for giving me a good feeling about my self and my work!

Yours, forever, Rashid Al-Balushi.

!ولا تنسونا من صالح الدعاء